Two months into dating someone, I’ve discovered a relationship milestone I hadn’t anticipated: being trusted with his Instagram handle. We’ve been on six to eight dates and talked several times about making things official. Apparently, that conversation moves faster than the meme-sharing permissions.
We’ve also discussed boundaries. I told him I wouldn’t feel comfortable being in a relationship with someone who follows women posting revealing pictures and regularly likes those posts. I’d hold myself to the same standard. Whether that works for him is something we need to know before becoming a couple.
Meanwhile, I’ve been sending him memes through text. Since we already know each other well enough to discuss a relationship, sending them directly on Instagram seemed like a fairly modest administrative upgrade.
His explanation was that he’d made a new account and only used it to view content and stuff. Then he didn’t give me the handle. That was the entire transaction. I had approached the counter with a meme and left with a statement about account usage.
I’m not interested in begging for access. He can decide what he shares, and I can decide how comfortable I feel. But it’s strange to be discussing what we’d expect from each other as partners while this ordinary little corner of his life stays off-limits.
I also don’t know what the new account means. From what he told me, it sounds as though he replaced his previous Instagram. I can’t turn that into proof of anything. Still, the combination of a fresh account, no handle, and plans to keep dating leaves me with more questions than the original meme deserved.
That’s where I’m stuck. Is this something to ask about once more, or are we already finding out that our ideas of openness don’t match? He’s still asking me out. We’re still talking about the next step.
I wasn’t asking for a Facebook relationship announcement. I just wanted somewhere to send the memes.
