I’m 23, and a few days after meeting a woman on Instagram, I was picking her up for dinner. We had mutual friends, the conversation had come easily, and she wanted to meet. So far, this was an unusually efficient use of social media.
Then she got into the car, and I noticed a strong smell of onions.
I didn’t say anything. There isn’t a graceful opening line for that conversation, especially with someone you’ve just met. She mentioned getting her hair done and doing her makeup, and she looked good. She had clearly put effort into getting ready. That made the whole thing more uncomfortable.
I wanted to enjoy dinner. Instead, the body odor kept pulling my attention away from everything else. At some point, I started wondering whether people nearby thought the smell was coming from me. Apparently, my brain had decided the evening needed a public relations problem.
I know people sweat. I also know hygiene can be complicated by things you can’t see, including mental health struggles or simply never having been taught certain habits. I didn’t know her situation, and one dinner wasn’t going to tell me. But knowing there might be an explanation didn’t make me less aware of the smell.
That was the awkward part: she hadn’t been rude or done anything to deserve being embarrassed. I just couldn’t get past it. I wanted to feel attracted to the person sitting across from me, and I wasn’t getting there.
I paid for dinner and drove her home. When I dropped her off, I told her it was nice meeting her. I didn’t bring up the odor, and I didn’t turn the goodbye into a review of the evening.
The next morning, she texted about a second date. I told her I thought we were better off as friends.
Now I’m wondering whether that was an unfair reason to rule out another date. I spared her the explanation, but she’s left with the polite version: nice meeting you, no second dinner.
