We’ve been texting more, and I was getting ready to ask her to hang out again. That was the next step I had in mind: another invitation, another chance to spend time together and see how it felt.
Then a mutual friend told me she was very certain this woman only likes me as a friend.
It took the air out of the whole thing. A conversation I’d been looking forward to starting suddenly felt embarrassing before I’d even had it. I’m sad, and I don’t know what to do with the invitation now.
The frustrating part is that nothing has actually changed between the woman I like and me. We’ve still been texting more. She hasn’t told me she only wants friendship. But now there’s this confident secondhand opinion sitting beside every hopeful thought I had.
I don’t know exactly what our mutual friend’s certainty is based on. I also don’t want to dismiss it simply because it’s the answer I didn’t want. It’s hard to hold both of those things when I already like someone.
Before, asking her to hang out felt like a reasonable way to keep getting to know her. Now I’m wondering whether the same invitation would mean something different to each of us: a possible date to me, an ordinary hangout to her.
I haven’t asked again yet. I’m still caught at that small, uncomfortable point where I want to see her and feel foolish for hoping it might lead anywhere.
Do I send the invitation I was going to send, or has our friend already given me the answer?
