On Thursday morning, she canceled the date we had finally arranged. We were supposed to meet that evening, after her classes, at a café near where she was staying. She didn't think she had time. I said that was fine and left it with her to suggest another day.
She never did. Until then, she had given me reasons to think she wanted to see me.
I'm 23, living in the UK, and we'd matched on Hinge. She had recently moved from China to study English. We had exchanged messages, voice notes, and video calls, so this hadn't felt like a conversation sustained entirely by a couple of flattering photos. She said she liked the way I thought, called me mature, and told me she liked me more after I'd helped her with something. She also wanted to meet.
Because she was new here and sometimes struggled with English, I tried to be helpful. She would ask about sentences and other things she needed a hand with. At first, I took that as part of getting to know each other. Looking back, I can also see how much of the conversation depended on what I could do for her.
I was usually the one keeping us talking. There didn't seem to be much curiosity about my life. That didn't erase the interest she'd expressed, but it made the two things difficult to put together: she liked me, apparently, yet I often felt responsible for keeping anything between us going.
We'd already rearranged once because she was busy. Then she shared where she was staying, and we settled on Thursday. Having an actual evening and a nearby café in mind made meeting feel like a plan rather than something we'd keep mentioning.
After she canceled, the messages continued to dwindle. Several days later, I told her it felt one-sided. I said the connection no longer seemed as genuine as I'd thought and that, if she wasn't interested, I'd rather she tell me directly.
Her reply was a single apology. I thanked her and asked whether she still wanted to see where this could go. I said I'd appreciate an honest answer either way. She read it. Days passed without a reply, although she appeared to be active on WhatsApp.
I can't tell whether her early interest faded or whether I'd understood her enthusiasm differently from the start. I had tried to allow for the language difficulties and her recent move. But I was still guessing; she hadn't offered either as an explanation.
Eventually, I sent another message saying that I'd given it time and felt disappointed by the lack of communication. Then I discovered she'd unmatched me on Hinge.
Her profile had said she wanted genuine connections, long-term or short-term, without hookups or games. I hadn't read that as a promise that she'd date me. She was entitled to change her mind. I keep wondering whether asking again for an answer helped anything, but I hadn't been asking her to manufacture an interest she no longer felt.
She still has my WhatsApp contact. She hasn't blocked me there. On Hinge, though, the match is gone, and the question she read remains unanswered.
