My boyfriend told the account he had a girlfriend. He just didn’t know his girlfriend was the one reading the messages. I had approached him through an anonymous profile to see what he would do. Admitting he was taken didn’t stop him flirting with the woman he thought was on the other end.
This was the second account I’d used to contact him. By then, I had already heard how he described our relationship when he thought I wasn’t listening.
We’ve been together for two and a half years. I’m 24; he’s 21. He had hurt my trust before, but he promised we would work things out. Thirteen days later, he started talking to another woman online. He hid their conversations and gave her attention while still spending time with me.
When I found out, he apologized. Two days later, that same woman helped me approach him through the first anonymous account. He spoke negatively about me and our relationship, played down what had happened and said he wanted to focus on his career. Being with me, he said, had cost him two years.
I was still imagining a future together. He was describing our past as time he’d lost. I don’t know whether he meant it or thought it would sound good to another woman. I had to read it either way.
Around twenty days later came the second account—the one he flirted with after saying he had a girlfriend. He followed it on Instagram too. Later, he unsent the messages and blocked the account on both platforms. I could see that the messages were gone. I couldn’t see whether he regretted sending them or just wanted them out of sight.
The tests had given me more to know, not less to worry about. I was his girlfriend when he reassured me, and the stranger when he flirted. Then I had to go back to being his girlfriend with both conversations in my head.
Now he says he wants to fix things. He makes an effort, and I still love him. I want the future I thought we were building, but the last promise lasted thirteen days before he hid another conversation from me.
I haven’t decided whether to stay. He’s trying to reassure me. I’m still checking his social media.
