I’m 43, and I think I’m relatively attractive. I have a younger-looking face and long, thick, dark hair that’s going gray. Lately, keeping it dark has started to feel like an appointment that keeps moving closer to the last one.
The roots need attention more often, and I’m thinking about the chemicals involved. Letting the gray grow out is becoming appealing for practical reasons. I would like to stop organizing quite so much maintenance around what my hair is already doing on its own.
I can picture changing the cut, too. Maybe shoulder length instead of long. I often curl or style my hair, and that’s still part of how I imagine wearing it. I’m considering a different color and possibly a different length, with the same interest in making it look good.
Then I remember I’m dating, and the straightforward hair decision becomes a question about attraction. Will men still see me as attractive if the gray is visible? I feel awkward asking, but I’m asking it anyway.
I have the impression that men are strongly drawn to youth. Whether that tells me anything useful about the particular men I might meet is another question. Still, it’s there in the background when I imagine letting my roots keep growing.
The contrast is what catches me: I can feel good about my face, like the thickness of my hair, and enjoy styling it, then become uncertain over the color coming in. I haven’t suddenly stopped finding things to like about my appearance. I’m wondering how someone else will read it.
I haven’t decided to grow it out, and I haven’t settled on the shorter cut. For now, both are possibilities. I can imagine the shoulder-length hair, curled and styled, with gray running through it. I just can’t quite picture how it will feel to show up for a date that way.
