We’ve been on five dates. He brings flowers every time, pays for everything, and sends romantic, flirty texts. On paper, this is going very well. In person, we maintain the physical distance of people waiting for separate buses.
He’s sweet and caring, and I like spending time with him. But he doesn’t hold my hand, try to kiss me, or sit particularly close. We walk side by side without touching. His texts suggest romance; our walks suggest we have both been assigned to inspect the sidewalk.
The men I dated before usually tried to move things toward sex by the second or third date. I don’t expect him to follow their schedule. I would, however, appreciate some indication that holding my hand has made it onto his.
After our fourth date, I invited him back to my place. I thought that might give him an opening to make a move. He looked around and left. A very restrained visit. The premises apparently passed inspection.
Today, for date five, we went to the movies and then to a pub for a drink. Once again, there was no physical contact during the date. When we said goodbye, he initiated a hug and kissed the top of my head. The kiss lasted about a second. So did the hug. I noticed both seconds.
He’s told me he’s never had a girlfriend. He also struggles a little with eye contact and seems physically reserved, so I wonder whether he’s nervous or inexperienced. Maybe this is simply the pace he likes.
I’m not necessarily asking for sex. I want affection: a hand held, a cuddle, a kiss that doesn’t leave me wondering whether I’ve been warmly congratulated.
I’ve started considering other explanations, including whether his attraction feels different from mine, but I know how little I actually have to go on. Flowers tell me he’s making an effort. They don’t tell me what he wants when we’re standing next to each other.
Should I make the first move, or give him more time? Five dates in, I’m still trying to figure out whether we’re approaching a kiss or establishing an exceptionally romantic friendship.
