When my lab partner invited me over to her dorm to study, I thought we might actually study. We had done that before after class. This time, she gave me oral sex.
There had always been a little flirting between us, but nothing especially obvious. Enough that the attraction wasn’t completely out of nowhere, not enough that I went over expecting anything to happen. Until then, studying together had been exactly that.
So yes, the encounter surprised me. But that isn’t really the part I’m struggling to admit. I’m already talking to another girl, and now I don’t know whether to tell her.
Calling it a “talking stage” makes it sound like I’ve explained where things stand. Really, it names the part that’s still unclear. There’s a romantic possibility there, but I can’t point to that phrase and know what she would expect to hear about another girl. It doesn’t tell me whether she sees us the same way I do.
I can explain why I didn’t expect the study session to turn sexual. I can’t use that surprise to answer the question about what happens afterward. Those are separate things. The invitation was familiar; what happened during the visit was new. Now it’s something I know while the girl I’m talking to doesn’t.
If I tell her, I could be bringing up something she doesn’t think I owe her an account of. Or I could be telling her something that changes whether she wants to keep talking to me. If I stay quiet, I avoid that conversation, but I also leave her without information she might consider important. I don’t know which understanding of us she’s working from.
That’s where I am: a study session with my lab partner turned into sex, and I’m still unsure how to bring that into a conversation with the girl I was already getting to know.
