When she asked me out for drinks before leaving our workplace, she asked just me. We actually went a few days ago, and I came away with a pleasant evening and absolutely no idea what to call it. Apparently a drink can be both a drink and an unresolved administrative matter.
I'm 25; she's 23. She had found a new job, so meeting up made sense as a way to stay in touch. The part I keep coming back to is how excited she seemed when I said yes. At the beginning of the evening, she even mentioned that we could potentially do this every week. That sounded promising. By the end, she was talking about getting the whole friend group together, which gave the evening a much less exclusive future.
The drinks themselves were friendly. She didn't obviously flirt or move the conversation into especially personal territory. Some of my friends think she's simply being nice, and I can see their point. She's outgoing. It seems reasonable that if she wanted to date me, she'd make that apparent. Unfortunately, that argument has to coexist with the flowers.
After our work costume party, she sent me a bouquet of fake flowers with a cute note. The flowers were artificial. My difficulty treating them as a routine gesture from a coworker is quite real. They weren't a declaration, but they were a personal gesture I haven't managed to dismiss as routine friendliness.
Then there are the messages. Since starting her new job, she's told me how much she misses me. A few times, she's called me her better half. She laughs at all my jokes, too, which I would love to regard as useful evidence without having to assess the jokes themselves.
Texting also supplies most of my case against myself. She always responds, but sometimes half a day passes first. I find myself treating the delay as evidence that she isn't interested, even when the eventual message is warm. Her response time and her choice of affectionate nickname seem to be working for opposing legal teams.
As far as I know, she didn't tell our work friends we were going for drinks. That detail catches my attention because it was a one-on-one invitation, but I don't actually know what significance she gives it.
What makes the question awkward is that I'd like there to be something romantic here. Asking her directly would mean giving her information about me, not just collecting information about her. If she meant friendship, I'd be admitting that I've been reading an extra possibility into it. If she's interested too, the same admission could finally give this somewhere to go.
There's one rather inconvenient detail in all this: I've been careful not to flirt with her. Not at work, and not over drinks. I've been waiting for an outgoing woman to make her intentions obvious while giving her a very restrained demonstration of mine.
